riding the rails
ok - here's something i'm sure you'd realize if you thought about it but unless you have a kid you're not going to think about it because you're you and that's all you are. that sounds incredibly INCREDIBLY gross - but that's how it is without a kid, you're you and that's all you are. with a kid you become an annoying YOU which in your mind means you deserve more than when you were just you. for example you say? i say here.
so yesterday, i took my kid to the big city. i now have to juggle him & his bag and make sure that i lose neither. so, i take the edge of a seat, with my backpack on and sit there jiggling Holden praying he doesn't cry. well, it looked like he was about to lose it so i stood up with him and bounced. apparently, i was a bad neighbor to the woman to my left and she gave me the stink eye and ANGRILY put her bag up on the seat i had vacated. since my only thought was DON'T CRY (to baby ... or both of us - who knows) i put her stink eye to the back of my mind and just bounced. finally he was all good so i decided, it'd be so nice not to have a backpack on so i set it on the seat that just had her bag on it. she sort of shoved her bag into the center of the seat with attitude so i said, "is there a problem?" she said, "WHAT?". i repeated "is there a problem?" she said, "are you gonna sit there or not?" and i said, "noooo, i'm just going to stand and put my bag next to yours. do you have a problem with that?" she said, "mind your business" so i said in my mind "fuck your shit fuck your shit fuck fuck fuck your shit" and said with my mouth "God bless you." because apparently, i am THAT passive aggressive. anyway, a stop goes by and a seat opens up somewhere else and the woman said "you can move now." and i said "oh, i'm very happy where i am." the whole time, i thought - I HAVE A BABY. BOW DOWN TO ME. LOOK! I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR SAD FACE. and as i thought that, i've turned into an upper west side mom.
well, whatever. that's where i'm at ... i'll work on it.
here's a picture. he's making me this person. ha ha ha.
